The Heart of the Fire

A poem

Photo by Luke Pennystan on Unsplash

I want an ember faith.
 
Fire will flash to the heavens, 
Logs will shift and flames will billow, 
Wind will whip a bonfire into a dance all its own.
 
Fire creates beauty, 
casting shadows that dance and play, 
offering light, warmth, with shades like autumn rejoicing. 

But, 
 
When the logs come crashing down, 
Broken apart into glowing coals, 
which lie scattered and crumbled, 

When all that remains are shades 
Of sharp blue, inky black, dusty gray, 
and a white so cold it should belong to frost, 

Then you meet the heart of the fire. 

When the passion has cooled, 
But the real heat remains, 
Embers, my friend, are what warms your soul.  

Embers last beyond the beauty of flames, 
They are steadfast, sturdy, and strong, 
Patiently waiting for the breath of life. 

For me, 

Religion feels like flames. 
Quick to gleam and invite, 
But quick to burn and harm. 

Man-made, 
Tricky to understand, 
And shifted by a single gust of mischievous wind. 

For me, 

Spirituality crackles like embers, 
Banked when religion burns out, 
But never truly extinguished. 

Sustained by the stories, 
Whispered in the dark around the hearth, 
Of bravery, of sacrifice, of Christ. 

He calls to me – breathing life anew into my faith. 

A faith rebuilt by the love 
Of a savior who also bristled 
At the machinations of man-made institutions. 

Rekindled by the support of community, 
Strengthened by wise teachers, 
Sparked by brilliant writers, 

A faith which makes me feel - 

Embraced by women in scripture, 
Held by the saints, 
Cradled by Mary,

They draw me in close, 
They rekindle those flickering coals, 
Reminding me that the heat never left me. 

They call to me - they will not let my embers fade. 

They whisper that my inner fire should not frighten me, 
That this heat is a gift from He who created it, 
Telling me to allow myself to crackle and pop. 

To recognize the hurts of the past,
but not to let the shadows dictate my glow.
To trust Him who sparked my heart,

Because mine is an ember faith. 

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Happy New Year, my friends!

This poem has been simmering in my mind for a couple months now and I felt a fresh year was the right time to let it wing its way to you. If you’re new here: welcome! I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read my work. This piece touches, albeit obliquely, on a number of my interests and common themes in my work: faith, spirituality, religion, women’s narratives in scripture and theology, and images of nature.

Recently, a number of dear friends have voiced hurt stemming from the actions of the church or ‘religious’ individuals. I empathize deeply with these feelings. In writing this, I hoped to honor those experiences while raising a prayer for all of those who feel the dissonance of faith with organized religion. May you find helpers along the way in books, people, communities, and nature that guide you and rekindle that spark of love. Keep those embers crackling - we need your fire in this world.

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Recommendations will come out in a separate post this month. We are in the midst of potty training and parenting duty calls!

Blessings to you each in this new year, Alli